Tasha!

i did.

2007-04-05T09:22:00Z

i wish i would have found this when it applied, but i still identify with it.

What do you do when you know somethings bad for you
And you still cant let go?

I was naiive
Your love was like candy
Artificially sweet
I was deceived by the wrapping
Got caught in your web
And I learned how to bleed
I was prey in your bed
And devoured completely

And it hurts my soul
Cause I cant let go
All these walls are caving in
I cant stop my suffering
I hate to show that Ive lost control
Cause i, I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need to walk away from

I need to get away from ya
I need to walk away from ya
Get away, walk away, walk away

I should have known
I was used for amusement
Couldnt see through the smoke
It was all an illusion

Now Ive been licking my wounds
But the vemon seeps deeper
We both can seduce
But darling you hold me prisoner

Im about to break
I cant stop this ache
Im addicted to your allure
And Im fiendin for a cure
Every step I take
Leads to one mistake
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need...

I cant mend
This torn state Im in
Getting nothing in return
What did I do to deserve
The pain of this slow burn
And everywhere I turn
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need to walk away from

Everytime I try to grasp for air
I get smothered in dispair, its never over, over
Seems Ill never wake from this nightmare,
I let out a silent prayer
That it be over, over

Inside Im screaming
Begging, pleading no more
I dont know what to do
My heart has been bruised
So sad but its true
Each beat reminds me of you

Im about to break
And I cant stop this ache
Im addicted to your allure
And Im fiendin for a cure
Every step I take
Leads to one mistake
I keep going right back
To the one thing that I need, oh
I need to get away from ya
I need to walk away from ya
Get away, walk away, walk away

-christina aguilera

iamtashwiba @ 2007-03-14T17:34:00

2007-03-15T00:36:57Z

help me

contadictions

2007-02-08T12:57:23Z

i suppose i'm just a jumble of walking contradictions. i tend to act like a diva sometimes, but other times i act like a boy, making dirty jokes; i like to be clean and have manners, but i also have been known to drink out of 2 liter bottles (and put them back, to my mother's horror). in highschool, i was the cool ''drummer chick'', but i was also the varsity knowledge bowl captain. im a true rocker at heart but i love dancing to rap and singing the ridiculous lyrics. i know exactly what i want, yet i can't seem to make meaningless decisions, like where to eat.

i use proper grammar and punctuation, yet i never capitalize letters.

so bored

2007-02-07T16:47:58Z

i have an interview at 10 30.

i went to sleep early (at like 6) cause i was tired and was in a horrible mood, so there was no point of being awake. my sleep schedule is so fucked. i usually go to sleep around 9am and wake up at 5 30pm, but i only got 2 hrs of sleep night before last so i was insanely tired. hence the 6 o'clock bedtime last night.

then i woke up at 3 30am and have been awake since, already showered and ready for my interview at 10 30am. the only thing i havent done is get dressed, cause i figure i have to have something to do in the next hour and a half.

maybe i'll eat again. i didnt eat anything (except a yogurt) yesterday, but i ate an enchalada this morning when i woke up at 3 30am... i could probably eat again before i leave, to take up time.

the lady that did my interview on the phone was nice. she's also doing the one in person, i think. she seems like she and i could be friends... unless we're not supposed to be friends with supervisors..? hmm

it's just a call center job, something for now. just to have money and move out again. it pays well enough. im not too worried. just bored.

drummin!

2006-05-10T02:04:05Z

i havent played drums in forever.... today i did and i rocked the shit, dude. im so glad i havent lost it. "it" being my drum-awesomeness. sehr spitze

i want another crash cymbal. i think i shall take a trip to guitar center one of these days and scope out the selection so i know how much i have to save..... after i save for the mexico trip, that is.... wow thats soon... shit.... haha

i <3 dance aerobics class.... and DANCING! i want to go to the diskotek this weekend!

ICH WERDE NACH MORGEN TANZEN!

bis später,

<3 tasha

hey look im pulling a insert forbidden name here

2006-04-10T08:11:17Z

I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me,
I still feel your touch in my dreams.
Forgive me my weakness,
but I don't know why.
Without you it's hard to survive.

'Cause everytime we touch,
I get this feeling,
and every time we kiss,
I swear I can fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?
I want this to last,
need you by my side.
'Cause everytime we touch,
I feel the static,
and everytime we kiss,
I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so?
I can't let you go,
want you in my life.

Your arms are my castle,
your heart is my sky.
They wipe away tears that I cry.
The good and the bad times,
we've been through them all.
You make me rise when I fall.

'Cause everytime we touch,
I get this feeling,
and everytime we kiss,
I swear I can fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?
I want this to last,
need you by my side.
'Cause everytime we touch,
I feel the static,
and everytime we kiss,
I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so?
I can't let you go,
want you in my life.

'Cause everytime we touch,
I get this feeling,
and everytime we kiss,
I swear I can fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?
I want this to last,
need you by my side.

-Cascada's "Every time we touch"

iamtashwiba @ 2006-04-03T02:05:00

2006-04-03T09:11:01Z

joe needs to be up like NOW! omg, im freaking out....

mmmmmmmmmm

2006-03-31T09:52:34Z

i really want muchas and i dont have any money.... grrr, im starving

so much for impulses....

2006-03-24T13:17:55Z

so i decided today that i wanted to bleach out a couple chunks of hair, so that at some point i could dye them a color (maybe purple?) since they could be easily covered.

so i dig out all my old hair altering products, and i only have level 40 developer in a liquid form that i got from brian osborne forever ago. i have 2 bottles of creme level 20, but my hair is black and im impatient, so i go to use the 40 liquid and, not only does it get everywhere, but it doesnt work.

nothing happens.

so i have bleach all over the counter, its not foaming like its supposed to, i already sectioned out the parts in my hair, and... nothing. im so dissapointed.

tomorrow [later today] i will conquer.

iamtashwiba @ 2006-03-16T03:45:00

2006-03-16T12:04:03Z

i just dont know what to do with myself. im so ridiculous. crazy. insane. wtf am i doing? ugh! i dont even know anymore!

ever since ive been sober tonight, ive just stirred up shit. pissed people off. but hey. it needed to be said. i dont regret it. this is such a gross typical lj post.

maybe i should have stayed drunk. but god, who knows what i would have done? im glad i had that much control.

*on a completely different note*

i forgot to say in my last "update" post that i got a new job at target, the one in vancouver plaza, and that about a month ago i got a SUPER SEXY CAR. a '02 hyundai accent, silver AT w/ a spoiler :) i <3 my hyundai

done. so done.

update? what??

2006-03-13T22:38:26Z

so... i put some new userpics up, since my old ones still had me with green hair from like a year ago. aaand, im updating with actual words instead of quiz results, which is weird for me. im also in a relationship right now, which, if you've talked to me or tried to date me lately you'd know, is also weird for me.

commitment+me=not-friends-since-scott. im amazed i finally committed and plan on things working. i'll put it this way: i'll be very shocked if there is anybody out there better suited for me than joe. i really don't think there is.

im so happy i disgust myself. *puke*

iamtashwiba @ 2006-03-13T11:56:00

2006-03-13T20:08:51Z

You Are Seductive Flirt

Smoldering hot, you don't really flirt. You seduce.
For you, flirting is just foreplay.
You don't flirt unless it's going somewhere.
You have one goal in mind when you flirt... And you usually get it!

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

i couldnt get the link to work, but my god, this quiz is scarily correct

2006-02-25T08:51:33Z

Free personality analysis from ColorQuiz.com.
Generated on Sat Feb 25 00:48:27 2006.

Your Existing Situation

Feels obstructed in her desires and prevented from obtaining the things she regards as essential.

Your Stress Sources

The existing situation is disagreeable. Feels lonely and uncertain as she has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and wants to stand out from the rank and file. This sense of isolation magnifies the need into a compelling urge, all the more upsetting to her self-sufficiency because of the restraint she normally imposes on herself. Since she wants to demonstrate the unique quality of her own character, she tries to suppress this need for others and affects an attitude of unconcerned self-reliance to conceal her fear of inadequacy, treating those who criticize her behavior with contempt. However, beneath this assumption of indifference she really longs for the approval and esteem of others.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Demanding and particular in her relations with her partner or those close to her. but careful to avoid open conflict since this might reduce her prospects of realizing her hopes and ideas.
The situation is preventing her from establishing herself, but she feels she must make the best of things as they are.

Your Desired Objective

Longs for tenderness and for a sensitivity of feeling into which she can blend. Responsive to anything esthetic and tasteful.

Your Actual Problem

Wants to be valued and respected, and seeks this from a close and peaceful association of mutual esteem.

Your Actual Problem #2

Disappointment at the non-fulfillment of her hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety. She is trying to escape from this into a peaceful and harmonious relationship, protecting her from dissatisfaction and lack of appreciation.

CRAZY!

2006-02-13T11:31:59Z

(i stole this from ethan's lj)

http://loom.corante.com/archives/2006/02/02/the_wisdom_of_parasites.php

I HATE OREGON AND PENNIES!

2005-12-07T09:51:42Z

working in oregon, you see a lot of pennies. to clarify: EVERYTHING is .99 or 5.99 or 127.99, whatever it is, it has .99 at the end! so of course, as a cashier, you always have to give back that ONE penny. and if they buy more than one its TWO pennies, and the customers bitch at you either way about getting that penny. GO LIVE SOMEWHERE ELSE THEN YOU WHINY BITCHY MOTHERFUCKERS! then you have to go get rolls of damn pennies all the fricken time, and they bitch about THAT TOO!

so i already have this issue about oregon and they stupid pennies, right?

so i get my paycheck the other week (belated rant) and its 514.00. so you know most people bitch about the oregon tax on their paychecks, so not only do i have that to look forward to, but they taxed me 99.01. thats ninety nine OH ONE! WHY must they take that extra cent? that extra cent means that i will be getting NINETY NINE CENTS BACK.

is this so i can pay for things in exact change in oregon?

is this so that they can supply people with those pennies they NEED back?

is this so that they can give me MORE pennies back?

WILL THEY EVER RUN OUT???

iamtashwiba @ 2005-11-24T00:00:00

2005-11-24T08:03:40Z

omg! my boy is on his way home and i am so excited i dont know if i will ever be able to sleep! in only 16 hours and 52 mins (says mapquest), he will be home from san diego for good! screw the navy!

AHHHHHH!!!

ironically, i wrote this last night.....

2005-11-17T08:43:12Z

Stop.
The World is waiting.
Slow motion;
You look, I look.
The World is waiting.
Your eyes searching
Mine not preventing.
The World is waiting.
Slow motion;
How much can you see?
The World is waiting.
I want you to see it all
I want to see all.
Our World is waiting.
Go.

crazy!

2005-10-24T08:07:13Z

oh man....its weird how online quizzes are either really right or really wrong, but i took this silly online quiz, and it turned out weirdly right, even though it only consisted of very few questions

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily.

You tend to give more than take in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

iamtashwiba @ 2005-06-16T01:39:00

2005-06-16T08:51:37Z

ummmm, im bored, and i havent posted in here forever. soooo, school is finally out! yay-rah for that! i'm finally out of that damn school, what a relief! if only my hard work had been for a reason.... (FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DONT KNOW-- i have to go to clark for a quarter then transfer to UW cause collegeboard lost my SAT scores for a while, and screwed my admissions to any colleges)

so, yeah, i need to find a job so i can hopefully move out with my scotty boy.

iamtashwiba @ 2005-04-07T01:33:00

2005-04-07T08:45:55Z

i dressed like a biker woman today. it was funny. you should laugh, i know i did.

HAHAHA, YEEEAH

2005-03-10T07:29:34Z

Your Stripper Info by radioface
first name
age
Stripper Name:	Petty Page
Specialty:	wearing the best outfits
Customers say:	"Whew...I need water..."

Quiz created with MemeGen!

iamtashwiba @ 2005-02-26T02:29:00

2005-02-26T10:30:18Z

he really is republican

2005-01-28T07:35:44Z

No, this isnt a random picture from google.

Meet my brother, Ryan:

Photo "art" by Scott Cobb

iamtashwiba @ 2005-01-21T16:39:00

2005-01-22T00:50:05Z

i was in such a horrible mood last night and some certain people were NOT helping at all (aka scott and my mom) they were totally ganging up on me about everything. i pronounced "the" a little funny and it sounded like "la" like french or whatever. so scott starts going on about how he's not sure that whatever word followed the "the" was feminine, and every time i start to say something, he would interrupt with something like that he thinks la is the feminine form but he can check with his brother if i want BLAH BLAH BLAH. my mother was just egging him on by laughing and then every time he was done, she would pick up where he left off and start nagging me about something or making fun of me. i wanted to scream "WOW SINCE YOU GUYS ARE SUCH A GREAT TEAM AT MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE, WHY DONT YOU DATE EACHOTHER? BY ALL MEANS, MOTHER, STEAL MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND! OH WAIT, YOU CLAIM YOU DONT LIKE HIM, BUT THEN TEAM UP WITH HIM TO INSULT AND EMBARASS ME!"

and ya know what? im going to post this so that YOU, SCOTTY BOY, can read this! because im sure it didnt bother YOU at all, but it sure as fuck bothers me, especially since its NOT THE FIRST TIME ITS HAPPENED.

NONE OF THEM MAKE SENSE!

2005-01-21T23:40:16Z

so this is your challenge of the day: try to overanalyze either of these haikus so that they make sense!!

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	iamtashwiba
Your haiku:	i answered all the way out no silly gas with an iv and they
Username:

Created by Grahame

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	iamtashwiba
Your haiku:	pm is telling me to ask ryanpudlitzke pm who tashwiba pm a
Username:

Created by Grahame